Sunday, September 9, 2018

We are enough!

Sometimes I write the words I need to hear most. So I'll repeat them again.


I've been struggling with this lately more then usual. I am very aware my posts on SM here are the highlights WAY more than the low lights. Doesn't everyone do that? But as I prepared for a meeting with some rockstar teammates of mine and before our chat honestly felt like I wasn't on their level- it hit me.

Sometimes I don't feel worthy.

Worthy of having this amazing life and family, worthy of my position at work, worthy of spending time with these really cool girls, worthy of a trip I was invited to, worthy of my amazeballs jobs.

I feel blessed to have so many people tell me I AM worthy. But then I look at some library colleagues, those coaches I met with yesterday, other moms, other wives and I compare. "But they are doing such amazing things! I don't know how they fit it all in when I'm scrambling to harmonize my life."

This comparison encourages me to retreat into myself and give up on my efforts to try something new. This perception into their lives makes me feel that mine isn't good enough. And it's because of me.

But then when I really sit down and think about it. Like really. I am reminded that


If I only look at MY life, and instead of saying "must be nice" and comparing-  I actually TALK to those I look up to- and I always find that we aren't really as far apart as I thought.

I talk to other moms who are just as frazzled with the constant "momomomomom"

I talk to other librarians that don't do more than me, just different things. And if I ask for something specific, they always share and inspire me.

I talk to other coaches that are struggling with the same problems I am in all aspects of their biz and health and yesterday it felt like they were speaking from my brain.

I talk to friends about marriage and realize that this season of little kids is HARD for every couple. In fact one simple question resulted in tears of relief from both of us. WE ARE NOT ALONE!

Do you see what's happening? When I stay silent, I feel ashamed and afraid and unworthy. But when I talk to people- reach out and ask- not only do I feel better but I realize that my question helps them feel connected, too.

Even when they have the part I'm currently struggling with already figured out, I am reminded that the success that seems so unreachable to me really is possible. Because they did it and it wasn't easy.

So when I end these posts with a "PM me and we'll chat" it might be because I'm too afraid to start the conversation myself. Because I don't feel I am worthy of your time.

Do you connect with this? What are you struggling with? What makes you feel unworthy? Chances are I need the conversation just as much as you do. ❤️  And I promise I will dig deep and remind you:

📸: Laura Banken Photography

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