Thursday, June 15, 2017

When Life Gives You a Bald Spot

They told me I might get a few bald spots from the Gamma Knife Radiation because of their location. I wasn't aware it actually happened until the 6'4" husband asked me about it yesterday- 6 weeks after surgery. I know I have fine, thin hair but I just ignored that somehow I knew I was missing just a bit at the top of my head when I styled my new short hair. When he asked, I cried.

I honestly don't care about the bald spot. I'll wear hats if I want, put sunscreen on it when I'm outside, and be grateful I can't see it in the mirror and that it's not noticable in selfies. (I know, I know).

I'm in a place of contentment with my looks and I'm confident with that. But this spot is a reminder that my body isn't "normal" anymore. No matter how great I feel that day, I have brain tumors. I always will have them and there will always be a worry of expected and unexpected ramifications of that. That loss of "normal" is what I am grieving right now and it's a symptom I didn't prepare myself for. A Meningioma diagnosis never goes away.

How the heck does my anxiety and heart deal with that? For now, it means taking care of my body the very best I know how, finding more content to fill my mind (see PD recommendations... hint hint...) , and obviously by buying cute hats.

P.S. My initials are HAT - I'm going with this as a sign from the universe to keep it in my blog title. ✌☮

1 comment :

  1. Awwww love this. Keep up with your blog- you're an awesome writer.